


Pink K

by ctbn60



Category: Smallville
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-11
Updated: 2011-06-11
Packaged: 2017-10-20 08:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/210667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ctbn60/pseuds/ctbn60
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pink K, a practical joking Bat, and a wild party. Yeah I know it sounds like the start to a really bad joke. :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pink K

**Title:** **Pink K**  
 **Author:**     
 **Pairings/characters:** Clex Clark/Lex , Bruce Wayne  
 **Rating:** PG for bad language  
 **Warnings:** Silliness abounds.  
 **Spoilers:** None  
 **Prompts:** Body Swap/Gender Swap  
 **For:** Clex Bingo /clexmas  
 **Betas:**   ,   Thank you ladies for holding my hand.

 **Short summary:** Pink K, a practical joking Bat, and a wild party. Yeah I know it sounds like the start to a really bad joke. :D

Usual disclaimers apply. They do not belong to me this is only for fun. No infringement intended.

 

They both sighed.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking about how much I loathe pink kryptonite."

"Oh!"  Another sigh.  "You sound kind of upset."

"Really? You think so? I miss my dick! I have...had a nice dick."

"You have an amazing dick."

A glare. "Had! Key word here is **had**."

"Don't worry I'm sure it will come back," said with the utmost confidence.

A raised eyebrow. "Sure? And will you take your hands off of your tits! I can't hold a serious conversation with you while you're feeling them up!"

"Well pretty sure. And they're nice tits!"

A smooth brush of a thumb across a nipple and a soft gasp.

"Yes, I'll give you that you're still magnificent male or female."

A shudder. "Thank you." And a kiss.

"I want my dick back."

"You're whining."

"I assure you I do not whine. Luthors never whine. It's not in our makeup."

"Oh God, makeup! I could never learn to put on makeup. We're going to have to stay in."

"Now who's whining?"

A pout. "This is really not fair."

"I am so going to kick his ass. I've been thinking. How on earth will we switch back? Do you have anymore of the pink K? Is it similar to the black one? I despise the black one too. Being tied up in the wine cellar was not an enjoyable experience! I'm going to need to get some and run several tests."

"You do know you're kind of rambling right?" A blush. "No, he took it with him when he left the party. I stay away from it for obvious reasons."

"I warned you. You can never trust a man that runs around in a bat suit. He did promise to get me back for getting him drunk and tying him naked to the flagpole after my last bachelor party. I bet the bastard is laughing all the way back to Gotham."

A sigh. "Besides - it isn't like the other kryptonite's. We'll turn back on our own, eventually."

"Eventually? EVENTUALLY?" The raise of a red eyebrow. "Exactly how long is eventually?"

"About a week."

"A WEEK? I want my cock back! And I want it, right now! Fuck, I am whining."

"Or two. Did I say I'm sorry?"

Silence.

"I'm really - really sorry."

"You've said that several times. How the fuck will I be able to go into the office? I have a board meeting Monday!"

"I'm sor..."

"Don't fucking say it or I will shove kryptonite so far up your ass you will not be able to have sex for a month!"

A frown. "Okay."

"Wait a minute. Exactly how do you know the exact timeframe of turning back to a man? And will you take your hands off of **my** tits. You are not going to distract me."

"Um...well... itkindahappenedtomebefore."

"Excuse me? Fuck! How come you never told me?"

"You look upset. I don't want you to be upset."

"I don't have my dick. I didn't think I could get anymore upset."

"Good."

"I was wrong."

"Oh! Shit."

"You're a man...um woman of few words tonight. I thought we weren't going to have secrets between us anymore. So, I want details. What happened?"

"Ah, I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that."

A glare.

"That's how long it took me to turn back."

A nod. "Understandable. So, you turned into a woman. I don't see the big deal." A laugh. "You worried about telling me that? It's unfortunate we could have..."

"No. There's more to it. I wasn't alone then either."

"What?"

"Um, no. It seems that the gender switch only works when two people of the same sex grab it at the same time."

Another glare. "So, you and whom?"

Silence.

"Not fucking Wayne!"

"Now, calm down."

"Calm down? I have tits and a vagina, and I just found out my husband was a woman with another man, and he never told me! Oh God. I need a scotch."

"Did I say I’m sorry?"

"You do know you are making this worse by saying sorry, right? You were a woman for a week? How the fuck did you keep it a secret?"

"That was before we were dating. I spent the time at the fortress and Bruce pretended to be his cousin from out of town. I think you met her. Brandy?"

Silence.

"What's wrong?"

Silence.

Another drink.

"You look pale. You did meet her, right? She attended that charity gala you went to in Gotham. Bruce mentioned you met there. Wait! Oh...oh no, no, no. You didn't!"

A quick swallow of scotch. "Look you said it yourself. We weren't dating at the time. As a matter of fact I had just tried to kill you right after you had destroyed Cadmus Labs. How would I know that being with someone else might be an issue! We were mortal enemies for Christ sake!"

"Yes, but you...you..."

"You can say it. I fucked Bruce while he was a woman! Oh God! I think I'm going to be sick!"

"Now I'm going to kick his ass."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? There was no way you could have known it was Bruce."

"I'm not really. It just seemed like the right thing to say. You don't have to kick his ass. I'm going to ruin him financially. I'll buy out Wayne Industries right out from under him. I'll expose his secret to the world by sending a videotape of the Batmobile pulling into the cave under the manor to YouTube. I'll replace his gadgets in his utility belt and fill them with Ivy's sex pollen. I'll..."

A nudge.

"Rambling again! You know...being a woman isn't so bad. I mean it's seeing things from the other side so to speak. I'm sure we can think of something to do until we turn back."

A tentative brush of a nipple. "Do you always think of sex, farm boy?"

A grin. "Yes."

A smile. And a kiss.

"I love you, Lex."

"I love you too, Clark. But I'm still gonna kick Bruce's ass!"

"Don't worry! I'll help you."

~The End


End file.
